Heart of the Matter
by Rizzleslovr72
Summary: AU. Follow up to The Beautiful Lie (Rizzles) After Boston and her dealings with Maura/Jane, Addison finally figures out what she wants but Meredith Grey decides to get in the way. Addie/Meredith, Callie/Arizona, Maura/Jane
1. Chapter 1

Here I am again, throwing myself out there in another fandom. This story is a direct follow up to The Beautiful Lie. There is direct reference from it so…you might want to read it first if you haven't. Sorry for the inconvenience but I think it's necessary to kinda merge the two stories. My Addison or the personality I created for her was so big that I finally felt she needed her own story. There will be some Rizzles. This is also AU Grey's Anatomy. Assume some things but just to let you know there is no Izzie, George, Little Grey or annoying other residents…oh yeah, and no Zoila or baby for Derek/Meredith. This is my first Grey's fic so be gently if my version of the cast doesn't fit exactly that's because are my derivations as well. Thanks as always to MSonya for the beta and all the other shit she shoves down my throat.

* * *

Addison Montgomery sat in the rented BMW and peered out at the sea of cars in the second floor Seattle Grace parking structure. A long sigh escaped. Many things had changed in the past few weeks and Addison was intent on keeping it that way. It was past time to acknowledge and confront the loneliness that had been dancing just under her skin. One night stands had become useless, resulting in a numbness that completely defeated the purpose.

Her thoughts whirled toward Jane and Maura. It was cliché. They had both overcome so much and were stronger than ever. It filled her with a hope, a four letter word that had damned her so many times before. Addison couldn't shake it. The feeling grew as if something inside her had made her fertile to the concept. Still, this hope warred at times with her own innate practicality, making it fragile at best.

Addison was unlikely to find any resolution in Seattle, but she made the trip nonetheless knowing that she was to be confronted yet again by elements from her past. Her marriage had been a lifetime ago. Nonetheless, just like with Maura, there were parts of her that were still tender. To complicate matters even more, Addison was vulnerable, torn between wanting the happiness Jane and Maura shared and the belief fostered by sheer pragmatism and years of disappointment that she just wasn't capable of it. This was not the best place to be in her current state. Seattle Grace was full of sharks. They would smell the blood. Addison was still unsure why she had agreed to come, but she was determined to make the most of it.

Addison held her head high, deeming herself impervious to the never ending melodrama that surrounded this place. Meddling had always been her forte, but now, she hadn't the slightest inkling to do so. She wanted her feet on more solid ground. Addison was tired of flailing. Her heels clacked against the concrete as she walked, adding to the echo of other footsteps.

Even though it was muffled, a distinctive chime came from her Prada handbag. Addison paused to sift through it. Removing her cell phone, she studied it as she resumed her trek to the elevators. Full lips curled upward. It was a text from Jane

**_U were supposed to text when you got in last night._**

Addison's fingers flew over the keys. **_It was late. I was sure you'd be wrappd around Maura by then._****_Went to bed._**

**_Alone? _**Jane asked a few seconds later.

The doctor smiled at the other staff as they piled into the elevator. Some were even gracious enough to use their words in greeting, which Addison returned. She moved toward the back as her phone sounded a reminder.

Addison bit the inside of her cheek as she stared at the text. She had to be careful with her reply. She was the last thing Jane should be concerned about. The elevator dinged loudly as it traversed floors.

**_Yes, I can't be ON all the time. You're up early._**

A reply came a few seconds later. **_Working. Haven't been to sleep. Frost is about to shit himself cuz he knows I'm talking to you. He says he'd stll drink bath water._**

The doctor laughed out loud. Heads turned in her direction. Addison held up her phone. It seemed to be enough explanation. Their attention waned almost immediately. **_Where do you find these ppl?_**

**_I always attract the strange ones._**

The doctor shook her head. Sometimes Jane left herself wide open._**We do all flock to you. Must be that magic tongue.**_

The detective's reply was quick. **_Rolls eyes. Gutter bunny._**

**_One of the best._**Addison added_. _Listening to the dings, she still glanced up toward the highlighted numbers as the elevator ascended then stopped at the third floor. The doors opened some people exited while others got on. She waved at a couple of nurses.

**_I wouldn't know. U got to look plenty but not touch. ;)_**

**_Ask your girlfriend then. She has plenty of stories from med school._**The doctor just couldn't resist.

**_Asshole._**

**_Uh huh. Fuck you very much_**_. _The doctor continued. Two more chimes. This was her stop. Addison didn't look up from her phone as she moved forward, bumping into the people in front of her. "Sorry about that!" She gently pushed her way through.

**_What r u doing anyway?_**

**_Just got to the hospital._**Addison answered.

**_So all you did last night was sleep?_**

The doctor cringed. She knew it was coming. **_Just me and a couple of shots of Jameson._**

**_U ok? Because that's just weird. _**The detective asked_._

**_I'm fine. Y? _**Knowing she was going to be interrupted if she just hung out in the hallway, Addison headed for the cafeteria. Coffee was in order.

**_Yeah, sure u r. I'm on to u but will let u go. I'll let Maura know we talked last I saw of her she was elbow deep in some guys chest. _**

Addison ignored the blatant sarcasm. Refusing to take Jane's bait, she added a little of her own. **_She's always been good with her hands._**

**_Goodbye Addison!_**

**_LOLz_**

Addison slipped her phone back into her purse.

* * *

Addison brought the large plastic cup to her lips and sipped at the coffee inside. She continued to peer at the skyline. The morning fog seemed to dissipate before her very eyes, leaving a breathtaking view of Seattle in its wake. The clean lines of numerous buildings loomed over the water. It was made even more poignant by her vantage point on the roof.

"I always wanted to know if you were a screamer."

Addison whipped her head around in surprise, nearly losing her coffee in the process.

Callie Torres grinned. The curvy dark haired Latina moved closer. "Let me push you off the side and see. I deserve a little revenge. You don't call. You don't write. I haven't heard from you in almost two months."

"Time got away from me, I think. Plus, I've been busy."

"Stirring somebody's pot?"

"I-"

"Don't even go there. It's what you do."

Addison smirked. "It always turns out well in the end. Speaking of which, how's Arizona?"

Callie's eyes narrowed. "Great," she growled.

"After all this time, it's still hard to admit that I was right about you and women?" The doctor chuckled.

"I refuse to admit that you're right about anything…ever."

Addison snorted. "How the fuck does she deal with all that stubbornness?"

Callie's smile completely transformed her face.

"That's disgusting." Addison muttered jokingly. Her stomach fluttered. It was just another reminder of what she did not have but sorely wanted.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to it's oozing out of you."

"That's disgusting." Callie admitted.

"That's what I said!"

When Callie stopped laughing, she murmured. "I can't believe Grey of all people convinced you to come here."

Addison shrugged. "She didn't really. I don't even know why I came."

Callie stared.

"What?"

"Something's going on with you. I can tell."

Addison waved away her suspicion. "I'm fine."

Callie glared.

"I am!"

Callie's glare intensified.

"Fuck you!"

The dark haired doctor smirked. "No thank you."

Needing to divert, Addison murmured, "You never wondered about it?"

Callie's eyes widened and she shoved a finger in Addison's face. "Stop it!"

The red headed doctor raised her coffee cup and free hand into the air. "What? I didn't—"

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?" Addison asked.

"That thing you do when things get too personal…you know, run?" Callie added smugly.

It was Addison's turn to glower. "I was talking about sex!"

"That's your way of running."

A little flustered at getting caught, Addison decided that humor was the best recourse. "I don't need your kind of negativity in my life."

Callie blinked. "Wha?" Then, a chuckle escaped. "Did you slip something in your coffee this morning?"

Addison snorted indelicately, "Don't I have to in order to stay sane in this place? It's like a Shakespearian play."

"True…it is."

"And then there's the mega couple at the center of it all. I just don't get it."

"Mmm, well there's trouble in paradise."

"I heard. Meredith told me."

"Oh really?" A dark brow rose.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Yes, really. She called me while I was in Boston, but that's so not the point."

"Uh huh. Well, they're barely speak-"

Addison held up a hand to interrupt. "I don't want to know. I'm just here to work and catch up with some friends. I don't want to be a part of anybody's drama."

Callie paused. "You're really not okay."

Addison looked away. It was odd. Only the people who knew her best could sense that something was off. Heaviness infused her, evaporating her good humor. "Can we just drop it?"

The quiet stretched between them.

Callie nodded.

Addison took a long pull of now tepid coffee.

"It's nice to see that the roof is still your favorite place." Callie murmured softly.

Addison turned back toward her friend. Her attempt to smile was feeble at best, still, she hoped it was enough to relay gratitude. The few people in her life who really counted had spoiled her with their loyalty, acceptance and understanding. Calliope Torres was among them.

* * *

Meredith pressed the heel of her hands against her eyes, willing the fatigue to evaporate. She was starting to learn that tequila and insomnia were not a good mix. She peered blearily at the board. "Thank goodness." She was on Bailey's rotation today. It usually meant charting first which translated to the possibility of sleep.

A ridiculously large coffee cup appeared on the counter in front of her.

"Your usual with three extra shots."

Meredith groaned as she reached for her drink. "You really do love me." The words lacked inflection. "At least somebody does." She added sharpening her tone with sarcasm and blatant irritation.

She could almost hear Christiana rolling her eyes. "It'll feel like you don't have eyelids after drinking that."

Meredith murmured in thanks. She leaned against the nursing station, taking the first sip.

"Am I staying at your place again tonight?" Yang asked.

"Owen's not getting offended?"

Christina scoffed. "He knows better than that."

"Nice to know he's so well trained."

"Yeah, maybe he can offer some pointers to Mr. Hair."

Meredith grumbled unable and unwilling to hide her grown exasperation. "How did I miss it? I mean, if had seen what an arrogant prick he could be I probably wouldn't have-"

"Yeah you would." Christina interrupted.

Meredith sighed and pushed away from the counter. "You're right." They walked slowly down the hall.

Yang's lips curled upward. "I always am."

"He's not even trying to fix this. I think he honestly believes that it's my fault. I can't begin to tell you how tired I am of being treated like shit." Just the statement alone, left her floundering. She didn't feel like she was in control of anything anymore outside of the OR. Rumors bombarded her at every turn, and then there was Derek…this complete and utter mess with Derek.

"Mer."

"What?" The word came out more prickly than she intended.

"You keep repeating the same questions and making the same statements over and over again. Has it helped?" Thankfully Christina ignored the snippiness.

"Well…no."

"Then try something different."

"Such as?" Meredith asked.

"Like do you really want an arrogant prick in your life who's trying to hold you back?"

Meredith stopped walking. "Interesting question."

"I know." Dark eyes twinkled.

"We'll talk about it over drinks. No tequila though I need a clear head. Maybe we should try something from Skinny Girl."

Yang's nose scrunched. "Is that like Boone's Farm?"

"Noo, it's kinda like light beer but with wine and cocktails."

Her nose stayed scrunched. "So, like diet Boone's Farm?"

"Christ…just bring beer."

"That, I can do."

A pager beeped. They both looked down.

"That was me," Christina announced. "I'll catch up to you later."

Meredith nodded and watched her go. She took a deep sip from her high octane coffee, hoping it would help. She was familiar with physical, mental and emotional exhaustion but to wrestle with all three simultaneously left her hanging on by a thread. Then, there was the anger, the frustration and the hurt. These emotions were commonplace, but Meredith thought for once there was going to be a reprieve.

There was none.

The doctor was sure she'd earned the right to have a little light in her life, but Christina and surgery remained the only constants. Meredith blinked, realizing she had drifted inside her own head. When she became aware of her surroundings once more, a familiar form appeared in her line of sight.

With confidence, Addison Montgomery weaved around the people meandering in the hallway. A bolt of envy shot through her. There was something about this woman. Meredith had always felt almost childlike in her wake. Meredith was no slouch as a surgeon, as a doctor, but Addison-

Refusing to tumble further into habitual hero worship, she yanked herself from her reverie. This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. They almost never were. Meredith's defenses crept upward, and she reached out with what protected her the most snark and humor.

Addison barely made eye contact, but it was enough.

"Nice to know I have so much influence over you." Meredith stated with faux sweetness.

"Don't flatter yourself. It's a challenging case. I still don't get why you were the one calling me."

Meredith shrugged. "I was doing a rotation in obstetrics. Everyone in the department is new, so I thought it would be better to hear from someone you're familiar with."

Addison's smile was tight. "I don't know you Grey."

"No, but you know of me. That's enough…for now."

Their gazes met and held.

Addison leaned closer, invading her personal space. "That's enough for always."

In the face of everything that was going on, Meredith could not keep herself contained. "Why is it you don't like me? Not that I care. I'm just curious. I didn't steal Derek. He was already gone, and you didn't want him anyway."

"True, but that's not the point. I don't care if you're Ellis Grey's daughter. I'm not going to fall in line and worship you like everybody else does here." Addison growled.

Meredith was momentarily floored. Then, she laughed but sobered quickly. "You don't know a god damned thing about me." Slowly, she became aware of the many eyes watching them. This little spat would be all over the hospital in fifteen minutes.

"I don't-"

She grabbed Addison by the arm, pulling her into what she hoped was an empty on call room.

The red head sputtered. "What the f—"

"Despite what you believe I don't want my life broadcasted all over the hospital, and I'm sure you don't either."

They glared at each other.

"You're so fucking wrong about me." Meredith leaned against the door, blocking the exit.

"Why would you care, Grey? Is it some kind of ego thing? Everybody has to like you?"

Meredith had no idea why she was pushing the issue, but she did it anyway.

Addison closed her eyes and released a dramatic sigh. "Look, I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to fight with anybody. I don't have the energy for this. Boston was exhausting. I thought we were going to be like passing ships or whatever it was you said on the phone."

"You remembered that?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"Yes, consult, ex husband's an ass and passing ships not necessarily in that order. Now, can you get out of my way?" Addison closed the distance between them. Her face was red in obvious anger.

Meredith continued to hug the door. Her hands clenched into fists as her own aggravation began to rise once more. She wanted something to work out today. Why not this? "Look, can't we just—"

"No." Addison's reply was emphatic. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Feeling the situation spiral further, Meredith grasped onto it tighter. "You don't even know-"

"I'm not kissing your ass Grey!"

Something snapped. Meredith could literally feel it when it happened. The thin strip of tape that was holding her together gave way. "From what I've heard," she hissed. "You've kissed a shit load of them. You and Mark should be in competition as the hospital whore. So why not add mine to the list?!" While this had nothing to do with their present conversation, she was now invested. Meredith hurled the insults into the other doctor's face. She wasn't sure when she moved, but there was barely an inch between them at this point.

Addison's color darkened. "You whiny little-" She sputtered, tripping over her own words.

The air crackled around them, sparking with energy that only increased the volatility.

"Who do you think you-"

Meredith watched full lips move, but the words sounded distorted. She wanted it all to stop for a moment…the helplessness, the anger and everything else that had been living in her head. Meredith lashed out at it all, reaching out to control it in the basest way possible.

"Grey! Are you-"

She crashed her lips into Addison's.

The other doctor gasped and Meredith took it as an invitation. Her tongue stroked the inside of Addison's mouth. The other doctor stiffened, but Meredith was in no way prepared for her own reaction. Heat blazed its way down her chest and curled into her abdomen tying it into hard knots. When it all settled in liquid form between her thighs, Meredith moaned and pulled Addison closer, tangling a hand into her hair.

The red haired doctor seemed to melt into her. Then, the moment was over. Addison wrenched away and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. Blue eyes were wide, accusing and stormy with other things Meredith couldn't decipher.

"What…the fuck?!"

Meredith looked away, feeling more listless than she had a few minutes before even as arousal snaked its way through her body.

"If that's not evidence that you've lost your damn mind! Don't you ever…." Addison growled. Her chest heaved. "Just get out of the way!"

Still refusing to meet the other doctor's eyes, Meredith stepped away from the door. Addison's presence hovered for a moment, infusing the area with her emotions. Seconds later, she was gone. Meredith blinked and tried to stave off the impending sense of drowning. "What was that?" She whispered.

* * *

Feedback is welcome. What do you think? Is it worth it?


	2. Chapter 2

First, I have to share this with someone! I am in love with Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation). There is just something about her just screams naughty…ugh! Okay, phew that was just burning inside me. Don't tell my partner! Anyway, here is another chapter. Remember this is AU so the characters are not gonna exactly fit nor are the situations according to the show itself. I don't know every Grey's tidbit so I'm making shit up sometimes. Also, medical jargon the disorder discussed is very real. I think my confidence with this one is gaining with each chapter. Feedback as you know is always welcome and frankly it is sometimes needed. This chapter isn't betaed but I'm still calling MSonya a bitch.

* * *

Addison rolled her neck from side to side trying to get rid of the stiffness. The doctor fought the yawn that threatened, filling her mouth with coffee instead. Sleep had been hard to come by last night, but thinking had been prevalent. Renewing her albeit distracted efforts, she continued to stare at the new ultrasound, seeing only a formless blob instead of Abigail Blake's distorted uterus and unborn child. Her attention was elsewhere, dividing her focus.

Addison opened Abigail's chart, hoping the contrast between the written word and image would startle her brain. It didn't help. She knew the chart already from cover to cover. She closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair, momentarily abandoning her efforts.

She had only been in Seattle Grace for one day and chaos had already ensued with the help of Meredith Grey. A few weeks ago, Addison would have finished what Meredith started, but she didn't want to be that woman anymore, despite the surge of arousal and her body's needs. She in no way equated her reaction to latent attraction. Grey had been a willing body…a beautiful woman just like all the others. No other explanation was acceptable.

The situation had been helpful in its own right. She knew now more than ever what she wanted. It wasn't sex. It wasn't one night stands, and it wasn't conflict all of that led to continued emptiness. Addison's ability to walk away from Meredith was the first steps down a completely new road. Regardless of her weariness, Addison felt lighter than she had in ages.

The door to the on call room burst open a giggling brunette practically fell inside. She was closely followed by Mark Sloan.

"Occupied!" The woman screeched.

Addison met Mark's gaze. His eyes started to twinkle, and a slow smile spread across his face. Addison groaned inwardly.

"Share?" He asked hopefully eyebrows rising high on his forehead.

The dark haired nurse made a choking sound at the suggestion.

"Uh, no. It's not even 10 a.m., Mark. Starting a little early?"

"You have your morning coffee. I have my morning…" His lips twitched. "You get my drift. Plus, she just finished her shift."

"Mmm." Addison tried hard to hide her smirk. The man was incorrigible but underneath was an enormous heart. She wouldn't have him any other way. A monogamous Mark Sloan would be the first sign of the apocalypse.

"I texted you after I got out of surgery yesterday. I was hoping we could catch up."

"I texted you back. Just like I always do." Addison muttered.

"Didn't get it. I hate Sprint." He muttered as he sat down, forgetting about his conquest.

Addison snorted. "You've been saying that for how long now?"

"I know right?!" He leaned forward, making himself comfortable.

The nurse coughed.

They both looked in her direction.

Mark peered at his watch. Stood up and wrapped an arm around the woman's shoulders, whispering something in her ear. She nodded, and he grinned like he'd eaten the whole canary. "I'll see you at four." Mark made a sound in the back of his throat as he watched her leave.

He glanced over his shoulder at Addison. "Did…you see that?" He walked toward her, sitting again. "I'm serious. Did you?"

"What?" Addison responded, knowing she was going to regret it even if it was entertaining.

"It was all natural. I could tell. Best set of -"

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to you objectify women."

Mark's face fell. Confusion clouded his eyes. "Why? Are you sick?"

The look on his face alone was enough to inspire laughter. "No," Addison answered as she settled into chuckles. "Maybe, I'm just not in the mood."

He stared. His lips pursed. "You're going to listen anyway. I don't have anybody else to talk to! Derek has his head too far up his own ass and Hunt is…well…Hunt." Mark leaned forward. His smile was boyish as he whispered, "I have stories to tell."

Addison grinned in return. "I'm sure you're about to explode."

"You have no idea."

"I don't want to hear any of them either."

"Oh, come on! What kind of friend are you? I'm even willing to listen to the tales of your lesbian exploits." His smile turned smarmy.

Addison glared. "How gracious of you." She deadpanned. She sighed and threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine, but after work. You're buying the drinks, and maybe after I've had a few I won't cover my ears at the icky parts."

Mark almost looked offended. It quickly changed to his patented grin. "I don't have any icky parts, remember?"

"Barely." She smirked and brought her thumb and index finger together, leaving an inch between them.

He sputtered. "That's just wrong to even insinuate!"

Addison snorted.

Mark's eyes narrowed. "I don't like you very much right now."

"Strangely, I'm okay with that."

"But it's better than dealing with Derek." His eyes were downcast. "I don't even know who he is anymore."

Addison bit the inside of her cheek. She didn't want to get into this, but this was Mark. "It's that bad?"

"He's almost completely remapped the brain, and he's being vetted by pretty much every hospital known to man. I thought it was because he was overworked at first. I mean, it's Derek, but it's like nothing else matters. He reinvented the wheel and he knows it."

As a doctor, Addison knew that they all had the propensity to lose themselves in their craft. "I can't believe he even pushed Grey away." She cringed inwardly not liking at all the way Meredith's name tasted in her mouth especially after yesterday's fiasco.

Mark scoffed. "More like she left a sinking ship. She's an excellent surgeon capable of just as much as Derek is. Not according to him though. He really tore into her. People are still talking about it, and it's been a while. I tried to talk to him about it, but he tried to rip me another asshole too." He studied her for a few seconds. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like talking about him."

Addison shrugged. "I know what he means to you. It doesn't really hurt anymore, and I'm past feeling guilty. It's just too much water under that bridge to even try to cross it."

"True."

She mentally shifted gears, but the alternate subject was no better, Meredith Grey. Addison pushed away the sudden flutter in her stomach, refusing to even acknowledge it. "I guess that explains her weirdness." The woman's life is falling apart.

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked.

Addison waved a hand brushing her words away. She stood and closed the chart. "Nothing important. I need to go find Robbins. I'll see you later."

He nodded.

As she pushed the door to the on call room open, Mark added. "Be prepared to be awed by my greatness!"

Addison rolled her eyes.

* * *

A little less distracted, Addison studied the ultrasounds and other images. She moved closer as Arizona pointed at a particular capture.

"I don't think I've ever seen a case of Placenta Percreta this severe. It's growing into the bladder and adhering to the peritoneum." Arizona stated.

"I agree. Surprisingly, for the moment, the fetus' vital signs are in the normal range." Addison added.

"For the moment, but you know in most cases birth is premature. We have to be creative here. There's too much organ involvement for there not to be any damage."

"Well, isn't that why I'm here?"

Arizona's head tilted to the side as she glared.

Addison chuckled. "What? It's true."

"You wear that arrogance like a coat. Don't you?" Arizona smirked. Blue eyes glittered.

"Something's gotta keep me warm." The other doctor muttered. The words just tumbled out of her mouth without the least bit of permission.

A blonde brow ascended high on Arizona's forehead. "Come again?"

Addison growled hating the moment of vulnerability. "Nothing…just." She turned back to the scans. "I may be able to detach the placenta with minimal damage to the bladder but it will be a lot trickier saving her uterus. Give me some time."

For a few seconds, there was only the hum of surrounding equipment.

"Addie?"

"Can we pretend like you never heard that?"

Their eyes met. Addison attempted to steel herself against inevitable questions.

"You know better." Arizona responded. Concern colored her features.

Addison ripped the scans off the wall and put up more. She needed the moment to make a decision…to hide or put herself out there.

"I know we're not as close as you and Callie, but—"

"Are there any women left over in this hospital that you or I haven't slept with?" Addison asked in a rush of word vomit. The previous tension left her body as a whole new kind made a home.

Arizona blinked. Her mouth fell open. "Uh…" Then, it closed. A few seconds later a confounded expression slid over her features. "Did you just insinuate that I was a -"

Addison held up a finger, forestalling the other doctor's reply. "It's the truth so don't even go there."

Arizona blushed. "Well, in my defense-"

"Don't. Go. There." Addison urged with a slow smirk.

The blonde's lips quirked, and her eyes glinted with aggravation. "Fine, yes I do, but Callie is a better judge of character than I am sometimes." Arizona's look became thoughtful.

"Good. Do that pow wow thing you two do and get back to me." Dismissing the conversation, Addison peered at the board. In the periphery, she watched Arizona and waited, hoping that this was the end of discussion. She licked her lips. Her heart thudded. This…having to do this stung her pride. Addison Montgomery was no slouch when it came to women…to bed, but anything else was an unmitigated disaster. If she wanted to make changes, she was going to have to ask for help.

"Wait a minute. So, you want us to set you up on a date? I've seen you in action-"

"Fucking was the ultimate goal then. That, I'm really good at."

Arizona's eyes widened in understanding. "Gotcha." Her answering smile was huge, bright. Instead of pushing for more answers, the blonde turned back to the board. "Minimal damage to the bladder? Abigail will be happy to hear that."

Addison peered at the blond doctor's profile for a second longer. She wanted to state her thanks for Arizona's discretion, but she knew it was simply implied.

* * *

Meredith stared at the surgical board, but she didn't really see it. She was well aware whose service she was on today, Callie Torres…Ortho. There were more than likely a million things she could be doing. Yet, her body was not really cooperating.

Aware of the stares from the nurses, Meredith opened a random chart and studied its contents. It was far from stimulating reading, and it left her thoughts free to wander. She was losing her mind. There was no other explanation for it. Stress and misery…they did strange things to some people, and she was just one of those statistics.

She was a married woman.

Well, not really, but that was beside the point. She was a heterosexual woman. The knowledge offered no solace at all. In the moment, heteronormative tendencies had jumped screaming out of the window. All that remained were soft lips, heavy breathing and a surge of arousal strong enough to make every synapse in her body take notice. Still, Meredith knew that wasn't the issue that was the most troubling.

It wasn't so much what she did. It was who she did it with.

Derek's ex-wife.

She paused examining the situation further and wondered if it was some weird attempt to get back at him. Meredith racked her brain, recalling the entire encounter. Besides a mention of his name, thoughts of Derek had been nonexistent.

This was all Addison Montgomery.

Meredith had simply wanted everything to stop. She wanted to feel something else instead of the collision of emotions that had been bombarding her as of late. However, she in no way expected what she got in return. Her life was a mess of immense proportions. There was no need to exacerbate matters further. This whole thing was a fluke. It had to be. No other explanation made sense. Her shoulders sagged as her thoughts circled back around to Derek. A mixture of frustration and pain bloomed in her chest and sat there laden.

She had never been important to a lover before. Derek had made her feel that way. She had never been loved before. Then, Derek said the words. She had never been looked at as an equal. She still wasn't. Meredith never knew how significant that was. Now, she was questioning the validity of it all. If things like that existed, they couldn't disappear overnight.

To make matters worse, Meredith was sure there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't even know if she wanted to try. The doctor pushed the unsettling thoughts back where she needed them to be. Nonetheless, she could make one thing better. Meredith owed Addison an apology and possibly an explanation. In the mist of it all, maybe it was even possible to alter the other doctor's incredibly skewed perception of her.

It was a distraction from the bigger issues of this Meredith was aware, but she was going to welcome it for what it was. The doctor closed the chart. There was work to do.

Someone bumped her shoulder. Meredith glanced in the general direction. With raised eyebrows, Yang stared back at her.

"You want to know what I've been doing for the past thirty minutes?" Her tone was light, conversational, but Meredith could always uncover the undertones.

"What?" Meredith countered.

"Watching you from down the hall. Look, I know there's a lot going on, but I thought we had gotten over a hump…or something. I don't know where you were last night. I know it wasn't with me. You didn't even seem to notice I was there."

"I did. I was just…stuck in my own head I guess."

Yang's nose scrunched. "You're a talker so what you just said made no sense to me."

"I know. I'm just trying to sort it out. I don't want it to become bigger than it actually is."

Yang blinked. "Uh huh. I'll try to make myself available when you figure it out." A smirk took the sting out of the words.

Relieved there was no pushing, Meredith muttered. "I'll do that."

"Mmm, so Joe's tonight? Can't be in your own head with all those people around."

Meredith nodded. She didn't believe that for a second.

"Shit." Christina whispered.

"What?"

"Just…maybe he won't even bother." Yang added.

"Huh?" Meredith continued, totally confused.

"Your post it note husband!" She hissed.

Meredith stiffened, but she looked anyway. Derek had his nose buried in a chart as he moved toward them. As if he knew he was being watched, he glanced up. Their eyes met. His gaze was shuddered, unreadable. Stubble covered his face, but the rest of him was perfectly coiffed.

Nails dug into Meredith's forearm. "Don't. It's what they're waiting for." Yang whispered.

Meredith sucked in a deep breath through her nose, releasing it slowly. She could feel the eyes on her now more than ever. Her body literally shook in an attempt to contain her emotions. As if he could feel it, Derek peered at her… through her. He made a notation in the chart and walked away.

She counted to ten and pulled away from Christina's grip. With as much calm as she could muster, Meredith followed. He disappeared into the male staff bathroom. She had no qualms about going in after him.

Meredith pushed the door open violently. Derek stood at a urinal. The only other man present left rather quickly.

"Do we have to do this in here?" His tone was flat but irritation shined in his eyes.

"Is that what you want? To pretend like I don't exist?" Her voice was thick and full of emotion.

His jaw tightened. "When you're like this yes."

"I've done nothing to you. You seem to keep forgetting that." Meredith's hands fisted, and she was compelled to move closer.

"That's bullshit and you know it." Derek turned completely and zipped up his pants with exaggerated flourish.

"There's no other way to say this and for the hundredth time, it's not my fucking fault!" She yelled.

"We were a couple! You didn't think turning the position down would impact me?! All the other hospitals didn't matter. Maryland was what I wanted. You know that!"

"It wasn't about you."

"Three years. It's all I asked for. You were supposed to be my assistant. It was a package deal. You could've picked your career back up afterward."

"I'm not a neuro surgeon, and I never gave you a definite answer. You just assumed!" He just didn't get it, and no matter how hard she tried, Meredith was afraid he never would. It was the same discussion over and over again. They were getting nowhere. She wanted to support him, and she had told him as much. Derek had taken it as permission to brush away her dreams and ambitions like they were nothing, making the decision for them to leave Seattle Grace without further discussion.

"So to one up me, you went behind my back and rejected your offer."

"Isn't that what you did in the first place?!" Meredith snarled.

"You're such a fucking child sometimes." Derek waved a hand in the air. "Doesn't matter. They got somebody else to head up the program. It's done so just leave it the hell alone!"

The door to the bathroom swung open. They both turned. Christina's eyes burned into Derek's before moving her gaze toward Meredith.

"Mer?"

"Yeah," she answered tiredly. "I'm coming."

* * *

Addison could feel Mark staring at the side of her head. She downed the whiskey and turned toward him.

"What?"

He studied her quietly, but the perplexed look on his face told Addison all she needed to know. Mark was a very observant man. Most people didn't give him credit for it.

He leaned in to ensure that he was heard over the chatter and music. "Okay, what gives?"

Addison motioned for another drink as she pondered on how much to tell him.

"Just because you don't answer me doesn't mean I don't know something's going on."

She stared at him. "What?"

"You heard me." He brought the tumbler of scotch to his lips, watching her over the rim.

"I thought you had stories."

"Three o'clock, six and ten. They have been watching you since you walked in. You've barely glanced their way." Mark ignored her attempt to change the subject.

Addison shrugged.

Mark's eyes narrowed.

Out of nowhere, Karev appeared. He leaned against the bar between them. Raising a hand, he signaled the bartender, then eyed them both as he waited. "Who pissed in your drinks?"

Addison glared at him.

Alex grinned.

Mark smirked and peered at them both. "Up for a little wager, Karev?"

Addison watched with rising apprehension.

"Depends." Alex answered.

"Drinks are on the losers for the rest of the night."

"Okay, I'm curious."

"Thirty minutes. The person with the most phone numbers wins. If you walk out of here with a woman on your arm ten minutes…automatic win."

"Is this between me and you?"

"No, the three of us."

Addison groaned as two sets of eyes turned her way. "No…just no. I'm not twelve and this isn't a playground." Knowing that through her indignance she had revealed too much, Addison glared in Mark's direction.

"What's wrong with her?" Alex asked.

Mark's eyes sparkled. "I got your drink. Thanks for the help."

Karev scowled. "Whatever."

Addison downed another shot and waited for Mark to strike.

"I wouldn't have to go through all this if you'd just spill." He paused. "You're seeing someone."

A bark of derisive laughter escaped.

His forehead wrinkled. "You're playing for the men's team again?" His voice went up an octave.

"Uh, no."

He threw his hands up in exasperation. "You have to give me something!"

Addison sighed. "I just don't want to do this anymore."

Tilting his head to the side, Mark continued to stare. "Well, hell that's just more for me." He grinned.

Addison shook her head and let the laughter come.

* * *

Addison was celebrating. She felt accomplished after turning down two offers of companionship. It had been easy, deceptively so. The doctor had expected some kind of withdrawal symptoms, but there were none. Pleasantly buzzed, Addison closed one eye in an attempt to gage her aim. She stumbled slightly, but was able to successfully hang onto the dart and her drink.

Mark chuckled. "I'm not trying to distract you, seriously. You're doing a bang up job on your own, but I have a question."

She lowered the dart and gave him her full attention. "Really? It couldn't wait five seconds?"

"You've been staring at the dart board for six minutes."

Irritated by his comments, she turned back to the game. "Whatever. What's the question?" Addison raised the dart, intent on throwing it. She pivoted her forearm back and forth, trying to gain momentum.

"Why has Grey been staring at you for the last ten minutes? She's only been here for fifteen."

Launching the shot, it immediately went wide imbedding into the wall three feet past the target. "Fuck!"

Rattled by his observation, Addison did her best not to show it. Images flashed, creating an unwanted warmth. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Mark shrugged. "Was hoping you could tell me. It's weird. Grey's watching you and Yang is watching her do it."

"Wait…what?" Her brain was entirely too fuzzy for this.

"Grey…is…watching…you." He enunciated slowly.

Addison snorted, bringing her drink to her lips. "Probably waiting to attack me again." She mumbled.

Mark's features pinched in confusion. "What did you just say?"

Realizing she was letting too much slip, Addison put her drink down. Perhaps she'd had enough for tonight. "Nothing…just poking fun. Ignore me."

"Uh huh."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back."

The line to the ladies room moved quickly. It was a weeknight after all. The crowd was a lot thinner than usual. When she exited the stall, Addison stopped mid stride. Meredith Grey was washing her hands and peering back at her from one of the mirrors.

"Great." Addison murmured. Ignoring the other doctor's eyes, the red head approached an empty sink. Meredith's gaze was heavy, intense enough to feel. It almost burned. Stimulated but aggravated by the invasion, Addison glanced at the blonde and hissed, "Stop."

"I didn't—"

"You've done enough. Just fucking drop it. I can hear you thinking from here."

"I just wanted to talk."

"We don't have anything to discuss." Addison dried her hands quickly and left.

She was barely to the hallway when she heard her name being called. Addison ignored it. The hand on her arm halted further progress. Tiny prickles of sensation raced over her skin culminating to a flash of heat. Addison jerked away from it. Suddenly breathing heavily, she looked down at her arm and then back to Grey.

Meredith's eyes were wide. She licked her lips. "I just wanted to apologize."

"Whatever." Addison began walking again, brushing past other women headed toward the bathroom.

"Addison! Wait!"

This time, the hand was on her shoulder. Her body reacted the same. For a moment, Addison was breathless then she began to rebel against the sensations. It had nothing to do with Meredith her mind screamed. This had been her routine after all… a few drinks and woman to ease the ache. It was only a form of muscle memory…her body's way of maintaining the status quo. Addison refused to acknowledge that this recent theory had already been rendered moot. She whirled around. They nearly collided. Addison's stomach knotted at the intensified contact.

Meredith gasped and backed away.

Addison followed, invading the blonde's personal space. Meredith's breath was ragged. Her chest heaved, causing the blonde's breasts to strain forward, continuing the heated interaction between them. Addison's heart rammed against her rib cage. Awareness snaked down her spine and coiled around them. Their gazes locked.

Meredith's eyes strayed to Addison's lips, making them tingle.

"Mer?" Christina Yang's voice was loud. It dripped with concern and confusion. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Addison stepped back and shook her head to clear it. "None of this means anything." She growled softly. Refusing to even look in Meredith's direction, Addison muttered, "Yang," in terse greeting before walking away.

Back in the gaming area, Addison grabbed Mark's drink as she breezed past him.

"Hey!" He exclaimed as the red head knocked it back with a gulp.

"Stop being a baby. Just get another."

"Yeah, right. Where the hell were you? There's hardly anybody here. Did you get lost?"

"Something like that." Addison answered. Her heart continued to race. She felt wild, jittery. The need to flee was overwhelming. She didn't want to do it alone. Mark was safe, and this night needed to be over. "I need to get out of here. Can I crash at your place?"

Mark's studied her astutely. "I guess. Are you okay?"

"Yes." She avoided his eyes.

"Bullshit, but alright. Let's go."

* * *

Awake again, Addison tossed and turned despite the comfort of the spare bed. Giving up for the moment, she reached for her phone. It was a little past five in the morning. Scrolling through her contacts, she stopped at Callie's name and sent out a text.

**_I know you guys have talked by now. Hurry the hell up._**

A few seconds later, Addison received a reply.

**_Should your eagerness scare me?_**

She smirked in spite of her unsettled state.

**_Probably._**

**_Do we need to talk?_** Callie asked.

**_Maybe but later. _**Addison answered.

**_Okay. Gonna hold u to that._**

The doctor threw her phone to the empty side of the bed. Two days was enough. Addison categorically refused to be dragged into whatever maelstrom Grey was brewing. She laid back down, closing her eyes. If sleep wasn't going to return, Addison was going to try to gain some peace.


	3. Chapter 3

Being unemployed may be straining my bank account slightly but at least someone is benefitting. Here is an update. Back in NOLA and it is hot as the ninth circle of Hell. Anyway, don't forget I'm fudging the medical jargon but there is a such thing as a molar pregnancy…honest! Look that shit up. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. I do so love writing about Addison. I'm really enjoying Callie, Mark…hell and the rest of the cast too. I hope it shows. Thanks to MSonya. I'd like to think we continue to improve our craft through each other. Feedback even in the nasty form is always welcome.

* * *

"This is weird. I feel like I'm sixteen. Why didn't I do all this from my hotel room?" Addison asked.

Callie chuckled. "Because you're nervous."

The red head peered at her friend through the mirror's reflection. The hand applying her make up stopped and hung in the air. "What did you just say?"

Callie crossed her arms and continued to lean against the doorway. "I didn't stutter."

"I'm not nervous."

A dark brow shot upward.

Addison sighed. Nausea rolled through her. Maybe she was…a little bit. She wanted this date to mean something even if it was a peculiar beginning. Addison grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Fuck you." Addison responded.

"Nope. Very taken."

"Is that going to be your response every time I say that?" Addison asked as she continued applying lipstick.

Callie shrugged and grinned. "I don't know we'll have to see. You look great by the way."

Addison gave herself a quick once over. The little black dress accentuated and clung to all her best attributes. Her legs seemed to go on forever and her cleavage just on the other side of dangerous. She smirked. "I know."

Callie snorted. "You're such an arrogant ass."

Addison continued to smile. "I know that too."

"Mmm."

The red head turned to her friend. "You know. You could just take a hiatus from Arizona and show me how it's done."

Callie beamed, and her eyes were alight with mischief. "If you don't know how it's done by now-"

"You know what I mean." Addison interrupted. "We probably would have been great together."

Callie huffed. "We would have killed each other within a week. Besides, I obviously have a thing for blondes."

"True… on both counts." Addison smiled slowly. "I love how you don't take offense at me hitting on you."

"I've come to expect it…like the rain in Seattle."

Addison laughed. "Arizona doesn't mind?"

"Arizona doesn't mind what?" The perky blonde asked as she eased up behind them.

"My flirting." Addison offered helpfully.

The blonde's dimples deepened as she grinned. " I think it's cute." Arizona and Callie glanced at each other, getting lost almost immediately. "I know she's not going anywhere."

Addison groaned. "Get that shit out of my face." She murmured affectionately. "You guys are like an instant cavity." Addison concluded that they were worse than Jane and Maura.

"Man, that sand in your vagina is really irritating you." Callie countered and purposefully pulled Arizona closer, nuzzling into her neck.

Forgetting everything else except for the game they were playing, Addison purred, "It does itch a little. Watching you two may help ease the ache." She stepped closer. Inadvertently, her tongue snaked out wetting her lips. Her hands slid over her own hips seductively. Addison's stare was intense as she waited for their response.

Arizona blinked. Her mouth fell open slightly and her face was flushed. "Uhh-"

"Damn," Callie muttered.

Addison smiled salaciously. "Was that a yes? We have time." This, she knew how to do…shock and seduce. It made her feel at home. The nausea and the nerves had abated.

"You're supposed to only use your powers for good." Callie smirked. "Still nervous?"

Addison sputtered. "Fuck you!"

"I absolutely love that we come back around full circle." The brunette laughed. "But I will take that as a no. You'll do fine. It's a clean slate remember? She's new."

Addison briefly turned back to the mirror, getting one last peek. "You say that but I'm sure she's heard rumors about me by now."

Callie shrugged. "So, prove her wrong. Vamp Addison doesn't need to come out and play just yet."

Arizona snorted. "And she plays _hard_."

They both glared at the blonde.

Arizona cleared her throat. "Sorry."

The doorbell rang. Her date was early.

Addison's felt the jitters return but not as strong as before. In addition, she was proud of herself. She had gone several hours without thinking about Meredith Grey. That is…until now.

"Damn it." She whispered. Her stomach fluttered with a completely different kind of feeling. A feeling… she didn't want or need.

"What?" Callie asked as Arizona left to go answer the door.

"Nothing. It's…nothing."

Callie's eyes narrowed as she studied the red head astutely. "Don't mess this up Addie. You might really like her."

"I know. I won't." Addison made a promise that she hoped she could keep.

* * *

Meredith was aware of Christina's eyes on her as she beat the eggs into the bowl into submission. She ignored the gaze. "What did you want in your omelet again?"

Yang sighed. "Spinach and mushrooms." She answered briskly. "For the third time."

"Sorry. I'm just-"

"Not here at all? It's me you don't have to pretend that you are."

Meredith sighed. She looked toward the table catching Cristina's gaze. There was understanding in her eyes, but it was tempered by so much more. Meredith sat the bowl down on the counter and moved toward the table. She threw herself into the empty chair beside Christina. "Say it. Just take the gloves off. You've coddled me enough."

Yang huffed. "I'm no expert on relationships. That's no secret, but I am an expert on you. You should've talked to him before you turned down the position just like he should've talked to you…really talked. That's always been a problem with you guys…things you don't say."

"Yeah," Meredith agreed.

"He doesn't _see _you, Mer. I don't think he ever has. You need that."

Meredith nodded.

Yang continued. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"

In response, the blonde reached out, grasping her friend's hand and squeezed.

"He doesn't love you like you thought he did. With the way he's been treating you, that's obvious. I know he's hurt, but it's gone too far. Somehow he's made it just about him."

"I know." Meredith whispered. "Maybe I didn't love him as much either. All I feel right now is anger. If there was something else, wouldn't I know?"

Christina shrugged. "I don't know." She paused. "Can you add onions and tarragon to mine?"

That was something Meredith could do. She grabbed the bowl and stood. Yang's words floated around her and sank in slowly. "Can you get started on the salad?"

"No problem."

Meredith ambled toward the stove. With the flick of her wrist, heat spread beneath the skillet. Simultaneously a hollow feeling pervaded her from the inside out. "It's over. Isn't it?"

A few seconds passed before she received an answer. "Probably." Yang murmured softly.

Meredith put a huge chunk of butter in the skillet. It sizzled and popped in protest while she felt almost nothing at all. "Can we talk about something else?"

"We can do that." Christina sat the ingredients for a salad on the counter along with two beers. They worked in companionable silence for a few minutes. "Addison Montgomery."

The bottom of Meredith's stomach tightened. "What?"

"Tall? Red hair? Killer blue eyes and smile? That one." Yang leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

Wanting to divert the subject matter, Meredith stated, "That's not really a subject change. They used to be married."

"Nice try, but she is a completely different animal. You've been trying like hell to avoid her the past few days. You haven't even said her name. Then, there was that thing at Joe's."

Meredith glared.

Christina shrugged. "You said gloves off. No more coddling. I assumed it to mean about everything."

"Well-"

"Can't take it back now. It's in the air." Yang scolded. "The way you two looked the other night. I wasn't sure if one of you were going to start swinging or…" Her voice trailed off. Yang gasped. "Holy shit…or kissing each other senseless! That's it. Isn't it?" Dark eyes were wide, excited and confused.

Meredith added the beaten eggs to the skillet. Her hands shook as she poured.

"Meredith?"

The knots in her abdomen were fast becoming unbearable.

"Mer, look at me."

Reluctantly, she did. "I don't… have any answers for that either."

"Oh my god. Today is Sunday. She's only been here a little over a week. How long has it been-"

"Since I kissed her." Meredith added.

"Say what?" Yang grasped her by the elbows, shaking her.

"Her first day…back at the hospital."

"Oh my God." Christina mumbled.

"Can you stop saying that?"

"I've only said it twice." Yang countered.

"Once was more than enough."

"Well, it's not every day my best friend goes around kissing women on the mouth."

"It was not women. It was one woman." Meredith stepped away.

"Is this some weird way to get back at-" Yang asked.

"I already thought about that, but no, it isn't."

"Have you ever…kissed a woman before?"

"Girl."

"What?" Yang asked.

"Susie Farmer in 6th grade. It didn't count for much. It was a dare."

"Did this one?"

"Yes…I liked it." Meredith answered.

Yang's eyes were the size of saucers. "Did she?"

Meredith recalled the sounds Addison made and the way they melted into each other. She swallowed, trying to lubricate a suddenly dry throat. "She did. It almost happened again at Joe's."

"Oh my God!"

Meredith gave Christina a pointed look.

"Sorry. So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing? I don't want things screwed up more than they already are."

"So you're just going to ignore it? That's not really like you." Yang muttered.

It _wasn't_ like her to be avoidant, but Addison, added to everything else that she was dealing with, was a bit much no matter how intrigued she was. "Why not? That's what she's doing. It's just some weird fluke anyway."

"Uh huh. Did it feel like one?"

Meredith didn't answer. The heat taking over her body responded for her.

"Guess that answers that. By the way, my omelet is burning."

"Damn it!"

* * *

Addison was trying her best to be attentive. She nodded and smiled at intervals. The doctor even added commentary as well as a joke here and there. Jennifer, her date, laughed at every one of them. It had been a chore so far to swallow down her normal responses and flirtations. Moreover, it was a pleasant discovery to find she could still be charming. It did nothing to retract from the fact that she was bored. There was no fire here. For Addison it was a prerequisite along with beauty, intelligence and a sense of humor. Jennifer had everything else in spades.

Still, attraction was either there or it wasn't.

It wasn't.

Not like it was with-

The doctor derailed her thoughts by literally biting her tongue as she finished the last morsel of a rather bland tilapia. It didn't help. Just a hint of Meredith Grey was enough. It meant nothing. That didn't explain her pull toward the blonde. The ache that Meredith produced was too familiar. It would flame out quickly and be no different from anyone else.

Her date stood, pulling Addison from inside her own head. The red head was actually glad for a reprieve even if it was only a bathroom break. Addison pulled out her cell intent on telling Callie it was a dud only to see a text message from Maura Isles waiting.

**Sorry we've been playing phone tag. It's been a busy week. How are you?**

Addison quickly typed in a reply. **I'm okay. On a date.**

**It must not be memorable if ur taking time from your sexual proclivities to text me.**

The doctor rolled her eyes. **It is a DATE with food and everything.**

**Oh.**

**Addison got your tongue? Well…I used to…have your tongue I mean.** The redhead grinned. It felt good to let her normal personality emerge.

**I'm not going to answer that but my initial statement still stands. Things not going well?**

**It's going but there's nothing to get excited about. **Addison answered.

**Pity. So that means it won't lead to lascivious activities.**

**I don't want it to.** Addison countered.

**Really? How odd.**

**No, a dog playing the accordion is odd. I'm just trying…I don't even know what to call it yet.**

**This isn't with Meredith? She seemed to catch your attention while you were here. **Maura responded.

Addison rolled her eyes and growled. She typed vehemently. **NO and NO**. **Don't even go there!**

**Interesting.**

Irritated, Addison glanced up and around, spotting Jennifer's return. She added another message. **Call you later. She's coming back.**

**Okay. Please do.**

The doctor pasted on a smile as her date sat back down.

* * *

Meredith pulled the curtain around the bed in hopes of focusing the woman's attention. It was the ER. She could block out the sights but not the sounds. It would have to do. She closed the distance between them, getting as close to the bed as possible to offer a semblance of support. Grey kept her voice low and calm. "I know you're worried, but I need you to try to relax so I can get some information about your pregnancy."

The woman continued to gasp for breath. "What else do you need to know?! I'm bleeding and my head is killing me!"

Grey nodded. "I know Barbara. We have to get to the bottom of this. Take some deep breaths. I'm here to help."

"Okay…okay." Her gaze remained frantic even as her breathing slowed.

"Good. Now, you're barely showing." Meredith added.

"I haven't had a period in three months."

"You don't have a doctor listed on your paperwork." Grey continued.

"I…haven't been to one. I got a test from the drug store, but I'm not ready for anybody to know."

"So you haven't been to the doctor at all? Am I correct?"

"Yes! I'm sorry just please help me!" The woman yelled. Her patience was gone. She grasped Grey's arm, clawing into it.

"Dr. Grey is everything okay here?"

Meredith looked up to see Owen Hunt standing near the foot of the bed. "We're getting there just asking some preliminary questions." She tried to unsuccessfully jerk her arm away. The woman had a good grip.

"That doesn't explain why she seems to be assaulting you."

"I'm bleeding, and she's not helping me!" Barbara cried.

"We were short- handed in Obstetrics today. I was able to talk Dr. Montgomery into a rotation. I'll give her a call." Hunt stated. It wasn't a request.

On the outside, Meredith remained collected, but on the inside, something slick and hot slithered. "That would be great."

Hunt nodded and walked away.

Grey sighed and put her concentration back into the matter at hand. "Okay, Barbara. I need my arm back so I can take your blood pressure and compare it to the one at triage since you've been here for a while. That could shed some light on the headaches."

"R-really?"

"Yes, really. Even though you don't have a history doesn't mean it's not an issue especially during pregnancy."

Barbara retracted her claws, giving Meredith room to work.

She slid on the blood pressure cuff and pressed the button. "So the headaches have been growing in intensity over the past couple weeks? No blurred vision or vomiting with them?"

"Uh, yes sometimes." Barbara answered.

"Okay Grey what do we have?"

Reading the numbers on the machine gave Meredith a moment of reprieve. She needed her doctor's hat firmly in place to deal with Addison. Still, she found herself talking at the redhead instead, keeping her eyes firmly on the patient. "She's well into the first trimester. Abnormally high blood pressure 150/105. Cramps, bleeding, and headache."

"Blood work?" Addison asked crisply as she looked through the chart.

"A nurse took it earlier. It's not back yet, but I put a rush on it."

"Good." Addison looked up from the chart. She smiled in Barbara's direction. "I know this is upsetting, but we should know what's going on soon."

Grey swallowed as Barbara nodded. It was hard not to be charmed by that smile.

"Dr. Grey can I speak with you for a moment?"

Meredith groaned inwardly but stepped away from the bed anyway. They stood a respectable distance apart.

"I'm sure you already have something in mind. Let's hear it." Addison murmured.

For a few seconds, Meredith just stared waiting for Addison to meet her gaze. It didn't happen. Grey's stomach fluttered anyway. Her eyes fell to full lips.

"Am I speaking Swahili, Grey?"

Their gazes met briefly. Addison was the first to look away.

"It's…it's too early for preeclampsia, but I'm sure the blood work will confirm it."

"Possibly but that means an underlying cause."

"Agreed. With no medical history concerning the pregnancy, I think an ultrasound will show that this one is molar."

Addison Montgomery features transformed yet again from taciturn to a pleased smirk. "Very good. She's in her early twenties. So, it fits." She purred. "You more than likely have the diagnosis in hand. What did you need me for? To stand watch so she wouldn't attack you again?"

In response to the redhead's playfulness and praise, Meredith's heart beat accelerated considerably. "What? She's just upset. Nothing I can't handle."

"Uh huh, the way Hunt tells it she was practically about to draw blood." Addison's smirk widened into a smile.

"It's so nice that me being in possible danger puts a smile on your face."

"It's the little things." Addison crossed her arms over her chest and looked supremely satisfied.

"You're really enjoying this." Meredith stated incredulously.

"Mmm."

Meredith was finding that she liked the banter between them much more than being ignored and that in itself was telling. "Good to know." She whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Quiet stretched between them as their gazes locked.

Meredith was wary of it, but still, she enjoyed the sudden warmth that spread inside her. Again, Addison was the first to look away. For some reason, it made Grey feel victorious.

"I'm sure I'm actually needed somewhere."

Without so much as a parting sneer or smirk Addison was gone. Meredith watched her go. Part of her was relieved. However, the rest of her actually regretted the loss of interaction. This was quickly becoming an unmitigated mess.

* * *

Addison stabbed at her salad and murmured. "The Bahamas? Nice. He must really be something to get you to go on a vacation, Miranda."

Bailey glanced over her shoulder and grinned. "Tuck loves him. He's a beautiful man." She muttered before turning back to the refrigerator in the attending on-call room, pulling out her lunch.

Addison raised a brow at Bailey as she sat down. "And?"

Bailey pursed full lips and rolled her eyes. "And yes, he has a beautiful penis."

The red head's mouth fell open as she roared with laughter. "Does everybody think I'm the sex police? And as far as penises go, I pretty much forgot what one looks like. I was actually asking how you felt about him."

Even Bailey's coffee colored complexion couldn't hide her blush. "What about those fake ones?" She continued.

"You really want to go there?" Addison smirked.

"You're right. Never mind. I said he's a beautiful man. That's it for now."

"Okay, I'm not pushing just asking."

"Huh, since when are you not pushing?"

"I'm just not. That's it for now."

Bailey chuckled. "Touché. I'll catch up with you later. I'm going to go meet my beautiful man with the beautiful penis for lunch."

Addison snorted and waved as the other doctor exited.

Less than a minute later, the door opened again. Addison glanced upward to see Yang and Grey enter. The conversation between them stopped. The red head stiffened. She had done an excellent job of reducing their interactions. Addison was slipping. Twice in one day was too much.

Staying momentarily silent, she watched discreetly as Yang opened the refrigerator with Meredith standing beside her. Unable to help herself, Addison muttered. "It says attending on the door for a reason."

"Our refrigerator hardly works. Plus, it's much nicer in here." Yang shot back as she handed Grey a bag with her name written on it.

"Mmm, there's a reason for that too." Addison sassed.

Meredith's gaze shifted between them.

Yang sighed. "Look, you're just visiting. So-"

A pager went off.

They all looked down.

"Shit, that's me." Christina whined. "And I'm starving." She pulled out an apple. Yang took a bite, glancing at Addison then back at Meredith. A slow smile formed. "Don't kill each other or…whatever." She said as she left.

Addison's anger formatted and spread quickly. She turned her gaze toward Meredith. The blonde looked contrite. It did nothing to temper her ire. Addison stood throwing the rest of her lunch in the trash and started to pace.

"What did you do?! Talk about me while you braided each other's hair?! My name shouldn't be anywhere in your conversations! You attacked me. There's nothing funny about it!"

Meredith scoffed. "She wasn't laughing at you. She was making light of the situation. Calm down."

"You didn't have to tell her about it."

"She could tell something was…off."

"Yes…you!" Addison knew she was being harsh. She couldn't seem to stop it.

"And you don't think I know that?" Grey paused and stepped closer. "That…doesn't explain what happened at Joe's."

Something cold slid down Addison's spine. By the time it got to the bottom, it was scorching hot. "What are you talking about?" She murmured.

"If Christina hadn't interrupted, tell me you wouldn't have had me pressed against the wall?" Meredith looked surprised by her own words, but she stood by them. Her gaze was unwavering as if daring Addison to refute it.

Needing some distance from the woman and the rawness of provoked imagery, Addison took a step back. Her breathing hitched. She remained quiet; hoping her lack of words would purge the moment.

"It's why you've been avoiding me. It's why I've been avoiding you too." Each statement seemed to propel Meredith forward. The distance between them lessened. "Look, I know this is fucked up. Even with everything going on with Derek, I can't stop thinking about it."

The bottom of Addison's stomach twisted and fell to her feet, leaving behind a delicious bolt of arousal. She steeled herself against it. "I'm not doing this with you."

The air between them crackled and hissed with electricity.

"I don't even know what…_this_ is." Meredith whispered heatedly. Boldly, she stepped forward. Their bodies brushed.

Addison's hands clenched into fists. She willed herself to stay stationary against the onslaught. She refused to reach out but she refused to shy away as well. Meredith's warmth beckoned. Addison remembered the way curves fit into her own. "It doesn't matter." She husked.

Meredith's hand slid around Addison's neck. Her thumb lingered, brushing against the curve of Addison's cheek. The touch itself left a blazing trail. The blonde's closeness and her heaving chest made encouraged Addison's own loss of breath. Fingers tangled into the downy hairs at her nape, resulting in a shiver. Synapses began to misfire. "Stop." It fell from her lips as a whisper.

The door to the on call room opened. They jumped apart.

Mark Sloan entered and stared at them both. His eyes widened and he clapped his hands together. A grin formed. "Well , all riiight." He moved further into the room. "Love the tension. I could eat it with a spoon. Should I offer to come back in ten minutes? Maybe I'll find something a little naughtier going on?"

Addison was somehow grateful and annoyed with him at the same time.

"It's not what it—" Grey started.

"Oh please. Don't even go there." Mark finished. "Tension…spoon." He reiterated.

Meredith exhaled noisily. Her expression was determined but resigned. "I need to go anyway."

Addison swallowed and watched her go. This is what she had been looking for last night with Jennifer…the pull …the burgeoning desire. At the moment, those feelings were sorely misplaced and residing with Meredith Grey.

Mark bumped her with his shoulder. "You awake in there?"

"Shut up." Addison growled.

Sloan chuckled. "That explains why she was staring the other night."

"Shut. It."

"I almost couldn't breathe when I came in here. That's some powerful stuff." He continued.

Addison shoved him.

Mark grabbed his shoulder. "Ow. What? What did I say?"

Sinking into a nearby chair, she didn't bother to answer. To say she was shaken would be a gross miscarriage of words.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know it's been forever…sigh. I've been blocked. I'm trying to break the old muse loose. Plus, Addison being the bitch that she is, wouldn't leave me alone. So, here we are. I hope you enjoy it. To everyone who reads this and takes the time to leave a comment...you are a treasure. Thanks as always to MSonya, my beta, and the bane of my existence. Hate you much lol. I say that with love.

* * *

After dabbing at the errant drips of water from her face, Meredith wrapped the large towel around her body. She tucked the end under her arm and leaned over the sink. Meredith wiped the steam from the mirror and peered at her reflection.

There was no difference in her appearance. Stormy green eyes blinked back at her. There were faint lines around her mouth. Full lips pressed into a hard line suddenly making fine wrinkles in the area more prominent. Her skin remained pale, unblemished. However, fundamentally, something had been altered. While these changes didn't manifest physically, Meredith noticed a shift buffered by acceptance.

Derek was a lost cause.

Actively, they worked together to ruin their relationship. It had been well over a month since he moved out. At this point, conceding to their situation was indeed the key, but her resentment toward him continued. Meredith thought he understood her. Above all, she thought she was respected. She thought she mattered. That was the most devastating. Love could not exist or flourish without these things of this Meredith was sure. She swallowed down the painful lump forming in her throat. It landed in her stomach, leaving the acrid taste of bile in her throat. Hurt lingered as did disappointment and sadness. She reached for her toothbrush, hoping to at least metaphorically wash the acrid taste from her mouth this whole thing had left behind.

Meredith's thoughts strayed as she completed her morning ablutions. A tingle started low in her stomach as Addison Montgomery came to mind. She was unnerved by their escalating encounters. Judging by the look on Addison's face, the red haired doctor was as well. Yet, each time the pull toward her seemed to grow, regardless of Addison's vitriol and against Meredith's better judgment. The fact remained that when the neonatal surgeon was in the vicinity every synapse in her nervous system took immediate notice. As a result, Meredith felt more alive than she had in a long time. This only served to confuse her more. It should have been impossible to feel any of it. Derek was still in her system. There should not have been room for anyone else. Her head screamed this as truth but the rest of her was recalcitrant, refusing to listen.

This…with Addison was base, lustful. There was nothing else it could be. Meredith barely knew the woman. It had become a common refrain. She peered into the mirror once more. Addison intrigued her. She wanted to know more. She was alone. She could admit it. The woman was a conundrum. Addison's baring was regal, sophisticated but she could swear like a sailor and spit enough venom to rival the most poisonous of snakes. Her wit sharp, deadly and as dry as a desert. The red head could also be the epitome of calm aloofness. However, there were, at times, displays of warmth and genuineness that only deepened the mystery. Meredith had seen it all for herself throughout the years even though it was never toward her. She sighed and shook her head. She had woolgathered long enough. Her shift was starting soon. She settled her thoughts on the work day ahead.

A little while later, Meredith slathered a piece of toast with Nutella before refilling her coffee. She leaned against the counter and stirred mindlessly. A throat cleared behind her. Meredith glanced over her shoulder. Owen Hunt looked back at her sheepishly.

"I was just getting coffee."

Meredith blinked. "It's your kitchen Owen. You don't have to ask permission or give me warning."

"Uh, Christina said not to bother you so I decided giving you a heads up wouldn't be…you know bothering you."

"Hmm, I'm always bothered these days. I don't think there is anything you can do to add to it."

Owen poured his coffee and continued to glance in her direction. "You'll get through this. Look at what you've survived so far." He leaned against the counter. Their shoulders brushed.

"I know. Thanks though."

"You're welcome. We have chairs and a table. Let's use them, yeah?" He added.

Christina chose that time to enter the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes at them both. "Is he hovering? It looks like…" She glared at her husband. "Are you hovering?!"

Hunt threw his hands in the air. "No! I was just getting coffee and trying to get her to use the table. We are civilized you know."

"So…yes you were hovering. If she wanted to sit at the table she would have been there already." Christina intoned.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "He was being cordial."

Yang peered at her for several seconds. "He gave you the speech?"

"Hey! I'm right here! I don't give speeches." Owen protested.

Yang stared.

"Well, outside the hospital." Owen muttered.

"It was more of a pep talk." Meredith murmured.

Christina groaned. "You're stronger than this blah blah?"

Meredith shrugged. "Pretty much." She gave Owen an apologetic look.

Owen sputtered. "I was just trying to help. She's your best friend. That makes us friends by default. It's what friends do…right?"

Yang's annoyed stare turned into a smirk. "You're cute, but no. Leave this to me. You just look pretty." She patted her husband on the cheek and scratched his beard affectionately.

Owen grinned. "You're a strange woman."

"Yes I am."

Meredith smiled at the exchange. When they were alone, she uttered, "You really do have him trained. I'm impressed."

"They should give medals out for that." Yang paused. "Anyway. I was just thinking. Maybe you should bring some things from your house to put in your room here."

Meredith snorted. "We can't play sleepover forever. I used to be an independent woman."

"You still are. You're independently making the decision to stay here …or have me come stay with you." Yang reached for Meredith's unfinished toast, taking a bite.

The blonde chuckled. "Semantics."

"Or, I have another idea." Christina's smile was blinding.

Meredith became instantaneously wary. "Okay." She growled.

"Judging from the sparks that shoot off you and Addison, I'm sure she'd love to keep you company. Hell, you two have enough voltage to cause a blackout."

Meredith sighed. "You know I didn't tell you all of this so you could tease me about every ten minutes."

"Too much? Do I need to make it every thirty?" Yang bumped Meredith with her shoulder.

"I'm being serious." Meredith eyed her.

"You think I'm not? Look, what's the big deal? You deserve a little fun after everything that happened. If the word about Addison around the hospital is true, she's lots…_lots _of fun."

"I'm no stranger to that, but I'm pretty sure she's not on Team Grey."

"I have two words for you…hate sex."

"Are you like a pimp or something?" Meredith asked.

"I don't remember money changing hands."

"Friends aren't supposed to encourage each other to do slutty things like this at our age." Something quivered and curled inside Meredith. Christina's encouragement seeped into her. It was as if her body had been given permission. Her insides actually clenched. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Says who?!" Yang asked incredulously. "What? Are we decrepit now?"

"You know what I mean, and I can't with Addison that would be dirty…and messy in so many ways. I can't even name them."

"No one needs to know." Yang wiggled her eyebrows.

"You're really trying to sell this. Why?"

For a few seconds, Yang just looked at her. "Some of it is for selfish reasons. You're not yourself. It's a long shot, but I figure she could help snap things back into place. Provide a little stress relief."

"What? Am I broken?"

Christina didn't answer.

"Yeah, I hear you loud and clear. It's still not the best idea in the world." Meredith paused. "Now, if I could just stop kissing her…

"Do you really want to?"

"No," Meredith whispered. She hadn't nearly had enough.

Yang laughed. "Aren't you just a walking contradiction."

It was the truth. That didn't mean Meredith wanted to hear it. "I don't like you very much right now."

Yang pursed her lips and muttered. "I'm willing to deal with that."

* * *

Addison stared at the surgery board behind the nursing station. It was a blur. Realizing she had been glaring into nothingness, she blinked to sharpen her focus. The nurse behind the desk gave her an odd look which was evidence enough that she had been standing there for some time. She peered down at the chart that she had come to fetch in the first place to avoid prying eyes and to bring herself back to reality as well.

She had not been herself the past few days. It had been a time of isolation and avoidance in an attempt to find some balance. Her seclusion wasn't complete. Addison had taken phone calls, exhibited cordiality while at the hospital but had brushed off invites. It was just enough to waylay suspicion from those who actually knew her. Addison's attempts to reestablish some perspective had not been fruitful in the least. During this brief sojourn, Addison had abandoned her dating efforts, and she had yet to figure out the situation with Meredith, leaving her even more confounded.

She felt a presence beside her and immediately her hackles rose. Derek Shepard didn't acknowledge her at first. Addison did the same in kind. There was no love lost between them at this point. Once, he was comfortable like her first scrub cap…the one with the stars on it. Then, she had lied, cheated, the ultimate betrayal. Addison accepted responsibility for her wrong doing long ago, but the bridge between them was almost impassable, making any interaction adversarial.

"You've been avoiding me."

It wasn't a question at all but a statement of fact. Addison peered at her ex-husband. He didn't return her gaze. "No…that takes effort. I stopped putting effort into anything involving you a while back."

Derek scoffed. "Is that how you want this to be?"

Addison shrugged. "There's no other way for us to exist Derek. Why fake it?" She knew that she was being harsh, but Addison had to relieve her frustrations somewhere. He seemed like an appropriate patsy.

"You just don't change do you?" He looked at her then. Derek appeared haggard. Nonetheless, he vibrated with antagonism.

Addison laughed. Despite her efforts, she was wondering if he was right. She pushed past the thought and concentrated on the conversation at hand. "Apparently, neither do you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Addison glanced around her noticing that the two nurses behind the desk were quiet and actually leaning in. She didn't care. This…between them was old fodder. "I mean…as soon as Derek Shepard is disappointed by someone he's supposed to love he turns into an asshole." A trickle of dread leaked into her chest. It was not what she had meant to say at all.

Derek let a bark of laughter escape. "What do you care?"

And that was the million dollar question. Addison was treading on ground that she had been vehemently trying to avoid…anything to do with Meredith Grey. "I'm not saying that I do. You started this."

"I don't have to justify myself to you."

"No, you don't, but that doesn't mean you have to pull Meredith down in the gutter with you. So, you didn't get what you wanted. Get over it. You two have to coexist in this hospital, and it's not all that big. You may not like her as a person right now, but at least respect her as a professional. She's Ellis Grey's daughter…_Ellis Grey_. She isn't your assistant. Given the right vehicle and enough time she could probably run circles around all of us."

"Ahem."

Abruptly, Addison turned to see a wide eyed Christina Yang.

"What the fuck? Why am I defending her?" Addison whispered softly. Fortunately, no one else heard. She had come to Seattle Grace intent on keeping herself out of other people's confusion, and somehow inadvertently, Addison found herself sinking in deeper every day. This wasn't just anybody's mess. It was Meredith Grey's. She had no viable explanation for her transition to the Grey bandwagon especially since she had been protesting its existence not too long ago. Maybe this was a six degrees of separation type thing. After all, the only thing they had in common was Derek. Addison stalwartly ignored the voice in her head reminding her there was so much more.

Derek narrowed his eyes, looking at Addison to Yang and back again. He reached for the pager clipped to pants and frowned. His exasperation was obvious, signaled by the dip in his brow and thinning of his lips. "This isn't over. You don't get to say shit like that to me." He grumbled and walked away.

"Well…I couldn't have said it better myself. Score one of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants…or whatever." Christina muttered.

Addison rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yang…"

The cardio surgeon beamed. "Yes?"

"Just…never mind." There were a lot of things she could have said. Addison found that she just didn't have the energy. Christina wasn't going to keep this to herself

"She's hard not to like."

Addison glared. "Don't read too much into this." Despite her words to the contrary, Addison had developed a respect for Grey. She wasn't sure, but it could have been there all along, buried.

Yang glared right back. "Uh huh."

Addison muttered to herself as Christina absconded.

To say that the red head was shocked by her actions was far from adequate. Addison turned away from the nursing station. She needed a drink actually craved one. Rounding the corner, she saw a familiar face. An idea formed. A very selfish idea. Flashing her best smile, Addison caught up to Jennifer.

The other woman grinned as she meandered by. Addison reached out grasping her by the elbow, making sure her touch lingered teasingly. "It's a good thing I saw you. Saves me the phone call."

Jennifer's smile tightened. "Funny, I got the impression you were ducking me, but I guess it has been the required three days according to dating etiquette."

Addison moved in closer sensing the imminent derailment of her plan. "You assume I go by the rules." She could actually see Jennifer's pupils dilate. "What are you doing this weekend?"

The nurse stepped back and chuckled. "You're not interested in me. I could tell. So, let's not force or fake it. Okay? I've got to get back to work."

Addison watched yet another person leave. Irritation washed over her. She was tired of things just…happening to her. She had to make things the way she wanted them to be. It started with Meredith. Addison had allowed her to walk all over her, taking what she wanted. Nothing had been in hand since. Perhaps there were other ways to gain perspective. It was time for Addison to get back in the driver's seat. She had been a passenger long enough. Since it started with Grey, maybe it would end with her as well.

* * *

"She is definitely on Team Grey." Yang muttered with glee. They sat on the couch in the residents' on call room. Christina leaned back against the arm and eased her legs over Meredith's lap.

"Did you hit your head or something today?" Meredith asked.

"Did you not hear a word I said? She defended you to Derek! It was all angry and righteous. Probably would have turned me on…if I swung that way."

They quieted as the door opened and Karev entered. He peered at them both. "What? Were you talking about me?"

"Every day… all the time." Yang answered.

Alex snorted. "Whatever. Let me guess, this is some kind of girl thing?"

"_Wo_-men. We are _wo_-men." Grey added.

Alex rolled his eyes. "You better not have eaten my lunch."

"It's probably not any good if you put it in that refrigerator." Christina stated. They all looked at the appliance in question. It hummed rather loudly.

"Better this than tangling with the Attendings. Not worth the fight." He commented.

"So…in other words, you're scared." Yang stated.

"That's so not what I said. You know what forget it." He walked the short distance and snatched the refrigerator door open. It groaned. "I don't know why I bother with either of you."

"Uh, because no one else likes you." Meredith informed him.

Alex grumbled something and left.

"Well, that was easy. Now, where were we?"

"You were spewing some nonsense about Addison being my soul mate." Meredith offered.

Yang stared. "I guess I need to start enunciating more clearly. I'm sure that's not what I said."

Meredith raised a brow. "Tomato…toma-to."

"It really happened. The only thing that would have made it better is if she smacked him."

Meredith laughed at the images that played. "Anyway, what was the point to all this?"

"The point is I think she likes you, and she's all bitchy toward you because she does."

"She's not bitchy all the time."

"You mean when you're not tongue wrestling?"

Meredith groaned. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I told you this morning that none of this was a good idea." Despite her words, an inkling of hope ignited. She was aware that she was a mass of contradiction, but had no idea how to fix it. Each incident with Addison had been born in impulse. Honestly, Meredith had no idea how she would react they next time they met.

"Uh huh, you want to Mer. I can tell."

"How?!" Meredith sounded affronted.

"You get this look every time her name is mentioned…like you're a little bit lost."

It was true. She wanted to get to know the prickly neo natal surgeon in as many ways as possible. Rewinding her thoughts, she relived the latest near miss between them. It had been electrifying. Her stomach knotted in response.

"See! That look right there!"

"I'm not over Derek."

"Maybe she can help with that…inadvertently."

Meredith tried again. "She's a woman!"

"So! That doesn't bother you at all." Yang continued to push.

Right again. "I hate you." Meredith countered.

Yang laughed.

* * *

Addison exited the bathroom. As she re-entered the attending on call room, she realized she wasn't alone. Addison braced herself as she moved toward the familiar figure.

Calliope Torres sat on the back of the couch. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and a determined look was pasted on her countenance. "Thought I'd find you in here."

Addison exhaled noisily. "So you did. What's up?" She asked casually.

"Don't take that tone with me." Callie growled.

"What tone? All I did was ask—"

"Don't bullshit me, Addie. You've been pretty much MIA for three days. You've been dodging me. This hospital is in no way that big."

"That's what I said…" Addison mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." She waved the comment away. "I'm losing my mind. Ignore me."

"Because I know you would _love_ that. So come off it. What's going on?" Callie paused and studied her friend. "Did you end up fuc—"

"No…I didn't."

"Well, it couldn't have been bad enough for you to go incognito."

"I just…have a lot on my mind, okay?" Addison said.

"When don't you?"

"Callie…" Addison said in warning. She was already aggravated, and being grilled by Callie was not high on her list of things to do.

"Again I'm not crazy about your tone. You know, if you actually share your feelings once in a while maybe your mind would be a little clearer."

Addison glared.

Callie gave more in return. "Your tricks don't work on me. Remember?"

Addison threw her hands up and muttered, "It didn't go well…the date."

"Why? Arizona thought she was-"

"There was no chemistry, alright?" Addison maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before looking away. "I don't want to talk about it." She steered past Callie, heading toward the door.

Callie reached out, grabbing her elbow. "What is up with you?! It's obvious—"

Addison turned quickly. The dam broke, flooding her with the emotions that she had been trying to keep at bay. Addison had no choice but to give voice to it all. "It's Meredith Grey! That's what's up with me!"

Callie's face scrunched in confusion. "What? You're not making any sense."

"None of this does…none of it makes sense at all." Addison's arms flailed. She was supposed to be reigning things in. Now, she felt more out of control than ever.

"Whoa…whoa calm down and just tell me what's going on." Callie's touch softened and became nurturing, supportive.

Words fell from her lips eager to get out. "She…kissed me and fuck if nothing has been right since."

Callie's mouth opened. It worked soundlessly for a few seconds. She eyed Addison, looking at her like she had grown two additional heads. "Derek's Meredith?"

"She's not his!" Addison hissed. Her eyes widened. She cleared her throat. "You know what I mean."

The orthopedic surgeon went silent once more. She studied Addison until it was starting to feel invasive.

"Will you stop that!" Addison cried.

"Did you fuc-"

"No!"

"But you want to?"

"No!" Addison repeated, but she could feel heat rushing to her face.

Callie tilted her head to the side. "I'm calling you on your bullshit again."

"Leave it alone. Please." Addison pleaded.

"She has you in knots." Callie continued.

"I'm going. I have patients—"

"You've barely been here two weeks, and she has you in knots." Callie glanced away, muttering slowly. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Their eyes met, and Callie promptly roared with laughter.

Shocked. Addison could do nothing but watch. For a second, she was hurt. For a few more seconds, she was angry. Then, she didn't know what to feel. However, Addison knew this much…she was dangerously close to violence.

Callie leaned forward, holding on to her. "I'm sorry…I'm not laughing… _at_ you."

Addison bared her teeth in a semblance of a smile. "You're a horrible person."

"I knowww." Callie agreed still full of mirth.

"You're an ass."

Callie nodded. "Yeahhh." She began to fan herself and stomped her foot. "Okay…okay…I'm okay."

"I'm happy. This is all about you after all." Addison deadpanned.

"Stop!" She snickered. "You're gonna get me started again."

Addison literally could not help herself. Before she knew what was happening, she had punched Callie in the shoulder. To keep from lashing out again, she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Ow!" Callie rubbed at supposedly tender flesh. "What—"

"Focus!" Addison ordered. "What's so damn funny about this?"

Callie stared again. "You really don't see it?"

"See what?!" Addison's tone was becoming shrill.

"You're running from Grey! It's like…being chased by Thumper."

This was not the reaction she was anticipating. Addison wanted Callie to be as indignant as she was, even as her own feelings about this was morphing into something entirely different. Suddenly, her annoyance reasserted itself. "Oh, fuck you," Addison burred.

"You know my answer to that, but let's stick to the subject. Is this why you didn't have chemistry with Jennifer?"

Addison sighed. "I don't know…maybe."

"It's not like you were ever monogamous. It shouldn't have made a difference."

"In theory," Addison agreed.

Callie shrugged. "Since she's not Derek's…"

The red head glowered.

"Why aren't you asking her out to see what it is?"

"Because I know what it is, and I don't want that anymore, remember?"

"How do you know what it is?"

"It's just attraction. I've given into it so many times. It's fucking hollow."

"When was the last time an 'attraction' bent you this out of shape?" Callie clawed at the air.

Addison glared. She had no answer or rather she didn't want to furnish one at the moment. "And we're done." Her tone was pointed and left no room for argument. "I apologize for worrying you, but now, I'm leaving." Addison stepped toward the door.

"Addie…"

Callie was ignored.

"Addie c'mon."

The words fell on deaf ears.

"You know I'm here for you."

Addison knew that was a given. Instead of acknowledging it, she shot her friend the finger.

"I love you too. I'll be around when you're really ready to talk about this." Callie's voice faded as Addison made her exit, but she heard every word.

* * *

Addison Montgomery was a woman on a mission. She was sure now more than ever that to exorcise her invading demons Grey had to be put in her place. Having memorized the board this morning, Addison knew that Meredith had switched with one of the other residents, putting her on Bailey's service. That meant charting…lots of it.

Waiting until the nurse minding the station got off the phone, Addison asked. "Have you seen Grey?"

"No, you want me to page her?"

"No, it's not a hospital emergency." Addison stuck her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. She could feel imprint of her cell phone. Whisking it out, she promptly scrolled through the contacts and ignored the murmur in the back of her mind teasing her for saving Grey's information in the first place.

**Where are u?**

It only took a few seconds for Meredith to reply. **In an office on the third floor. 303 I think. Y?**

Addison ignored the giddiness that invaded her chest when she realized Meredith had kept her phone number as well. It was silly and a whole lot of ridiculous. She immediately attempted to bury what she was feeling. **Stay put I'm coming down.**

**? **Was Meredith's reply.

Addison didn't bother to answer.

When she rounded the corner toward her destination, Meredith stood outside the office talking with Richard Webber. Addison didn't mean to eavesdrop, but as she moved closer, it was inevitable

"I know it's been a while since all this happened. I still wanted to check on you. The whole thing was so public."

"Isn't everything concerning me?"

Richard chuckled. "Possibly. This is a stupid question, but how are you?"

Addison could sense Meredith's tension…see it in the taut lines of her shoulders.

"I'm okay. Let's…just leave it at that." She answered.

"Fair enough. I won't keep asking. You know I'm here if you need anything."

Meredith nodded. Based on the way Grey handled herself, grudgingly, Addison had to admit that her respect for the other doctor went up a notch. It was hard to play it so close to the chest especially since she was the constant target of hospital gossip.

Webber smiled and nodded as well before walking away. He clapped Addison on the shoulder as he made his way down the hall. She squeezed his hand in greeting. The gesture didn't calm her at all.

They stood less than a foot apart, staring at each other, but Addison could swear that Meredith was right there underneath her skin. Other doctors ambled past them, coming in and out of medical records and the adjoining offices.

"You wanted to see me?" Meredith pulled the blanket of quiet from over their heads.

Addison nodded. "We need to get some things straight."

Grey's eyes darkened and seemed to look right through her. "Come in then. The room is the size of a closet…not the walk in kind."

Addison scanned the hallway and followed Meredith inside, locking the door behind her to prevent any interruptions.

The blonde chuckled as she sat on the edge of the folding table already scattered with charts, leaving a few inches between them.

Addison put her back to the closest wall, striking and casual pose. Still, her temper flared. "Is there something you find funny?" She hissed.

Undeterred and not intimidated in the least, Meredith murmured, "No…it's just with everything that's happening and we're literally in what could be categorized as a closet."

"I fail to see the humor in this." Addison countered.

Meredith smirked.

Addison wanted nothing more than to wipe it from her face, leaving something else in place. She remembered what Meredith looked like with kiss swollen lips and needy eyes. Addison's stomach fluttered. She did her damnedest to ignore it.

"Thanks by the way." Grey whispered. "Christina told me what you did. I don't need it from you or anybody really but thanks anyway."

"Of course she did. I wasn't trying to protect your honor or anything."

"Heaven forbid." Meredith added sarcastically. "Wouldn't want anyone to think you were kissing my ass."

"Do you have to be so infuriating?!" This was not going the way Addison planned.

"I don't know possibly? Do you?" Meredith raised a brow and continued to maintain her gaze.

"Yes! I wouldn't be me otherwise."

"I get that."

"You don't know or get anything about me." Addison countered.

"Yes, I do or I'm starting to. You leave an impression especially when we meet like this." Meredith's eyes seemed to drink her in. "And here we are having a normal conversation."

"There's nothing normal about this."

"Maybe it's going to be our normal then."

"You're deluded." Addison muttered.

"And you like me."

Addison laughed. It was a defense mechanism, and she was starting to understand that she needed to be on high alert around this woman.

Meredith chuckled as well. "That's your come back?"

"Sometimes, I don't need one."

"You do today." Meredith stated.

"Oh really? Why is that?" Addison asked titillated despite herself. It was tantalizing knowing that someone else existed besides Callie and Jane who could stand toe to toe with her.

"Because you didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask one." Addison reminded her.

"I'm saying this for the second time today, semantics." Grey added.

"Then, let me say this for the second time today. You are deluded."

Meredith leaned forward. "Believe me, I know it's not a good idea to push this, but the world won't implode if you admit that you like me."

"There's nothing I want to admit to except that I'm a natural red head." As the words slipped from her lips, Addison realized she should have kept them contained.

Meredith's eyes widened. Her face flushed. "I supposed that's good to know." The blonde's gaze intensified becoming heated and hungry.

Addison's walls reasserted themselves with immediacy. "Don't."

"What?" Meredith whispered.

"You're not stupid. What do you want from me?!" Addison's ire had returned with a vengeance, and it was mostly internal.

"Look at that. You just gave me a compliment." The blonde taunted.

Addison's blood began to boil. It rushed through her hotly, filling her limbs and galvanizing them forward. She hovered over Meredith's sitting form, standing between parted legs. "Answer the question."

The heat building between them was staggering, searing the air. Addison's heart beat accelerated, roaring in her ears. Their bodies brushed as Addison leaned forward. She rested her hands on the table beside Meredith's hips. Their faces were a few scant inches apart. Green eyes were dark, challenging and greedy.

Meredith licked her lips. . It was a wanton and nervous gesture. Addison tracked the quick swipe with an intense gaze. It gave Addison the impression she was winning in this exchange. Although, she had no idea what the prize was.

"Meredith," she husked warningly.

Meredith's lips parted, and her breathing hitched. Then, went ragged.

In a blatant show of dominance, Addison gripped the outside of Meredith's thighs and yanked her forward. Meredith gasped. She clutched at Addison's shoulders and held on. Reacting on instinct and just the proximity of this woman, Addison's hips began to roll sensuously.

The sound that fell from Meredith's lips sank into Addison's belly. It transformed into a wet trickle as it dribbled lower. Addison whimpered helplessly. The friction was minimal but the act…the intent was mind blowing. Fingers dug into Addison's shoulders. The pain was enough to bring her back from the brink, just barely. Still, she continued to dip into dangerous waters. Her mouth brushed against Meredith's. Their lips clung, breathing the same air.

"Is this…what you wanted?" Addison purred.

Meredith moaned as Addison's tongue slithered and teased. Addison's grip on the blonde's hips tightened. Changing her stance, she arched forward pressing her thigh, firmly against Meredith's crotch. The cadence of her thrusts increased abruptly.

Meredith cried out. Addison swallowed the sound and added gutturally, "For me to fuck you."

"Yesss!" Meredith sobbed.

Their lips met violently… a clash of teeth and tongue. Addison needed this. She wanted this. She pushed Meredith further on top of the table. Charts hit the floor. There was a loud crack. Startled, Addison pulled back, but Meredith refused to let go. The air around them shifted as the floor raced up to meet them. They landed with a hard smack. The sensation was jarring, forcing the remaining breath from Addison's lungs. They lay on top of the broken table pressed together, legs entangled. Curves met, getting closer than they had ever been. If her intention was to put the blonde in her place, then she belonged underneath her. It certainly felt that way. She peered down at Grey. A million things vied for attention in Addison's head, but she was focused on one.

Meredith's lips were wet, swollen. Her pupils were completely dilated and chest heaving. For a moment, they existed in stillness. The need expanded between them, steadily becoming overwhelming. Addison had never felt anything like it. Finally, Meredith buried her hand in red tresses returning them to a smoldering kiss. Searching for additional stimulation, her hips began to grind against Addison's leg once more. With blind but eager hands, she pushed the lab coat from Addison's shoulders and clawed at her scrub top, seeking flesh. Addison wriggled, doing everything she could to help her.

There was a loud knock at the door.

Meredith whimpered. "Fuck… ignore it."

That was Addison's intention anyway.

The knock came again. This time it was stronger, more urgent.

"Addison! I know you're in there!"

An angry Derek Shepherd was the last thing Addison expected at a time like this. She gulped and her heart beat tripled in cadence. When she looked at Meredith this time, her eyes were wide with disbelief and apprehension. In a flurry of movement, Addison untangled herself and stood.

"I meant what I said! We're not done!" Derek bellowed. The door rattled as he fought with the knob.

"Oh my God. This can't be happening." Moving quickly Meredith got to her feet. Green eyes were glazed over. She looked completely and utterly lost. Instead of addressing the blonde, Addison peered around the room. It was in shambles. Charts were strewn everywhere and the table was beyond salvageable. The only thing that was untouched was the chair.

"Shit." She muttered.

Addison looked down, taking in her own appearance. Her lab coat was missing and her scrubs were askew. She couldn't even imagine what her hair and everything else looked like. She glanced at Grey and groaned. What they had been doing was written all over them.

"Shit!" She whispered again with vehemence. This was something she hadn't really considered...Derek finding out about…whatever this was.

"God dammit open the fucking door," He snarled menacingly.


End file.
